
Everywhere we go, people say the “p” word. Bumper stickers boast “Proud to be an American,” “Proud sponsor of the Olympic gold medal” or “Proud parent of an honor roll student.”
Today everyone is proud of everything. T-shirts proclaim endless titles ranging from proud grandpa to proud to be a specific ethnicity. The word “pride” receives more play in our daily conversations than a baseball at Wrigley Field.
Basil Szewczyk of Darien feels a bit uncomfortable about using the “p” word to express his sentiments and successes.
“Usually, instead of being proud about something, I’m happy about something. I just don’t like the word ‘pride,’” he said. “When things go well, I’m happy and glad, and I want to share it. Usually, pride has some connotation of selfishness like you’ve accomplished it by yourself. No matter what we do, we never do it really alone, and many times we take advantage of an opportunity provided by others.”
Szewczyk’s aversion to proud proclamations is worth considering. According to Roget’s Thesaurus, the hefty list of synonyms for pride include: egotism, arrogance, self-love, self-exaltation, vainglory, self-glorification, smugness and pretension.
The popular practice of cultivating our personal and social pride unnerves me. Pride leads us to become arrogant, boastful, competitive, condescending, judgmental and self-absorbed. Gratitude makes us humble, cooperative, kind, altruistic and focused on others.
Recently, a relative remarked, “You must be very proud of Matthew for having his own business.” Her intended compliment surprised me. What thrills me is not achievements, but the love and kindness our three children give to others.
“I’m very grateful to have a son who stops along the road to help strangers in distress and is kind enough to reduce the cost of car repairs for his neediest customers,” I replied.
It’s time to replace the “p” word with the “g” word. Rather than expressing pride in being an American, I prefer to say that I’m grateful to be an American. If grateful seems inadequate, other superlatives such as privileged or honored also describe my feelings.
A little less pride and a lot more gratitude make each of us emotionally and physically healthier people. By replacing our pride with a gratitude attitude, ours soon would become a much safer, healthier and happier society.


