It’s a rarity to have the opportunity to express oneself in an uninterrupted, non-judgmental and totally receptive environment. That is the appeal of the Women’s Wisdom Café, a program that was introduced this past September in Western Springs. The founders of the Women’s Wisdom Café are Donna Desai of Westchester, Cheryl Leonard and Wendy Kerr of La Grange and Therese Gacki of Western Springs.
Desai said that she first learned about the concept of the World Café, the model after which the local program was designed, during a weekend conference.
“The World Café model is to have people come together who are interested in discussing something of importance,” she said. The model can be used for a community organization such as the Women’s Wisdom Café has done, or in a corporate, government or other setting.
The objective of the Women’s Wisdom Café, is to provide “a place for women to connect with other women to explore questions that matter,” Desai said. “We named our café the Wisdom Café because we wanted to discuss questions that would help us tap into our collective insight, that would help us look at our modern society from a place of wisdom.”
The format of the café involves having individual tables set up for four to five people, much like a traditional café. A stone is placed in the center of each table.
“A question is put out into the whole group and the person at each table who feels like talking, picks up the stone. She talks about her experience, thoughts, whatever. This is not a discussion though. There is no back and forth conversation, no questions, no opportunity to agree or disagree. The person says what they think. Then someone else picks up the stone and can only say what’s true for her, what her thoughts are, what’s in her heart. They don’t answer the other person. It’s a very different atmosphere, a safe environment to sort out one’s thoughts and feelings. It’s hard to explain but you talk differently and listen differently because your mind isn’t racing ahead thinking about a response,” Desai said.
“It’s amazing how you feel so different,” Desai said. “It clears up space to think and you feel heard, like you’ve really been listened to,” Desai said. After about 20 minutes, the attendees are asked to switch tables. “The groups become mixed and then they summarize what was said at the previous table, the general ideas,” Desai said. The routine is repeated for a second and third question related to the first.
“The feeling of being listened to and being heard is amazing. People who have attended go back and visit with their friends and realize how people don’t listen to each other. They’re so busy waiting to jump into conversation or jump ahead. This is a peaceful way to talk about things,” Desai said. “People have said this is energizing and peaceful. The structure supports a peaceful exchange and thoughtful ideas.”
The questions to be examined each month are decided by the founders of the local café. “The questions don’t have answers. We won’t solve anything but by participating, people think about things differently, hear other peoples’ perspectives and are able to be listened to. They’re able to figure out more clearly what their thoughts are. People don’t prepare ahead of time. They just say whatever comes to them. It’s more like tapping into our own inner wisdom,” Desai said. The questions selected “have strong underlying values behind them.” In March, she said, the topic to be discussed will be how women will bring peace to the world.
Women’s Wisdom Café is held from 7 to 9 p.m. the second Wednesday of each month through May at Community Bank of Western Springs. People interesting in attending can register by calling (708) 802-1545. There is no fee for admission although donations to help defray expenses are welcome.