GETTING TO KNOW Gary Parmenter, co-founder of Compassionate Friend East Suburban Chapter
AGE 56 YEARS IN TOWN Two ORIGINALLY FROM Elmhurst
Gary Parmenter’s life changed forever on Feb. 14, 2008.
It was the day that sent the Chicago-area into a state of shock over news reports of a gunman at Northern Illinois University. And it was the day Parmenter received news no parent should.
Parmenter’s 20-year-old son, Dan, was one of five students gunned down in the Valentine’s Day shootings at Northern Illinois University. Shortly after the shooting, Parmenter, of Westchester, said he joined a grief support group at his church.
“You’re in such a state of shock that you realize this is more than what a human being was designed to deal with. You need support however you can get it,” Parmenter said. “This is just an overwhelming event — you don’t have anything else, nothing else matters at that point.”
For the next 12 months, Parmenter said he attended several grief counseling groups, and as the one-year anniversary passed, he felt ready to begin helping others.
With the help of three women who had also lost children, Parmenter has started an east suburban chapter of Compassionate Friends, a grief counseling group specifically for parents who have lost children at any age and to any cause of death. The new group, which began meeting last month, will serve a majority of the near southwest suburbs including Berwyn, Cicero, Westchester, La Grange and Stickney.
“After everything I went through I realized there is hope, that you can work through grief, you can gain the initiative to live again and go forward,” Parmenter said. “I wanted to give parents that hope and to have faith in having a life again.”
Notable
Oakbrook-based Compassionate Friends is a national non-profit group with more than 600 chapters, covering all 50 states. For more information visit compassionatefriends.org.
Quotable
“I want to encourage (parents) to take a step forward and seek out support and like what Compassionate Friends is all about — its credo ‘You need not walk alone.’ I want to let other parents know they’re not alone.”
About the “Gentle Giant”
Dan Parmenter was known as the “Gentle Giant” to his friends and fraternity brothers for his stature and compassionate nature. Parmenter and his girlfriend were at the front of the classroom when the shooting began. He sustained five gunshot wounds covering his girlfriend, who was also shot three times but survived.
If you go
WHAT Compassionate Friends East Suburban Chapter, a grief support group for parents who have lost a child to any cause of death, at any age.
WHERE Cicero Community Center, 2250 S. 49th Ave.
WHEN Sessions will be held in Spanish every first Thursday of the month and in English every second Tuesday of the month from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m.
CONTACT For more information call (630) 935-1228 or e-mail tcfeastsuburban@aol.com.
