Even in a nonpatriarchal society, queens live among us every day.

Mary Cukierski holds her own title as “queen bee” of the Bartlett Red Hat Society.

Chapter leaders are designated as “queens,” and a year and a half ago, founder Lori Lane passed the crown to Cukierski, who went from Mistress of Mirth to Queen of Mirth.

Cukierski continues the society’s tradition of social interaction and aims to create fun friendships for middle-aged women and beyond.

The Bartlett group has 57 members  age 50 or older. They wear red hats and purple clothing to all events. There are three “pink hatters,” members who do not meet the age requirement but still are allowed to join. These are the only rules of what members like to refer to as their “dis-organization.”

“Our Bartlett members give themselves names, and (they) can be very creative, such as the Bearoness, who collects bears; Lady Victorian; Lady Macintosh; Lady Too Busy; and Dame Sew Rosie,” said Cukierski.

The group plans lunches, dinners and special events, such as trips to Arlington Park, Cantigny Museum, baseball games and concerts. 

“In May, we have a birthday party for every member in our district, and everyone brings a gift to play a game called ‘steal,’” she said.

In this game, each person selects a wrapped gift from the pile or “steals” an already opened one from another person. During the birthday month only, the Red Hatters switch colors, wearing a purple hat with a red outfit. The group also holds three tea parties each year, enforcing strict women-only rules.

“When women reach middle age, they begin a new phase of living with their children grown and a new freedom,” she said. “The Red Hat (Society) gives women opportunities to meet and form friendships — something that they were always too busy to do before.”